In a day of 24/7 social media connection, where you can ‘make friends’ with one click and instantly learn everything about them, the mindset of a cheater is drawn into question. How it starts, why it starts, if it is more likely to happen again once it has already happened. Is the saying ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ truth? Or is there more happening than just infidelity?
Nowadays, no one wants to commit. Everyone is afraid of something better coming along and then being unavailable. People spend their time stringing along individuals, when their time would be better spent courting the one they are actually interested in ending up with. But there is a fear, this is why you will hear ‘maybe’ a lot. You will hear ‘maybe I will be there, ask me closer to the day of’. Because if something better were to come along, they do not want to be committed to a pre-existing obligation.
This same concept is why cheating happens. These people are always looking for the next best thing, the greener pasture, the brighter sky, the upgraded car. And if the opportunity presents itself, even while dating, instead of breaking up, the person cheats. They want to give the Mercedes a spin before buying.
The reality of the whole situation is that cheating is an issue in the mind, not the relationship. We do not normally drive someone to cheat. The core malfunction is that the cheater more than likely has low self esteem or low self love and they are looking for love in all the wrong places.
Because someone that loves who they are, and is confident in what they have to offer won’t be trying to find that ‘greener pasture’. They will water their own pasture and if it is not green enough they will make change happen to be happy. They understand the greenest pasture will always be the one you water. And someone who loves who they are will know what they deserve and want, anything less, they will either change the problem or walk away before cheating even becomes possible.
Our society is becoming so superficial and insecure that what is currently. happening are thousands of relationships comprised of people that do not love themselves, let alone the person they are dating. And if that is the case… How can we expect any loyalty. How can we expect the respect relationships deserve when the people in them do not even respect themselves.
The issue is not alcohol. It is not social media or the new ease to find a person willing to ‘hook up’. The problem is self love, self respect and self worth. Because if someone really loved who they were, they would be confident in what they had, and they would not be looking for self worth and more trophies to put on their wall… They would focus on polishing the trophy they already had.
No one is going to drive someone who appreciates what they have to cheat. It does not matter how many people are in their Facebook inbox or Twitter direct messages. It would not matter what someone said or how much they had to drink. A person that loves them self and is confident with who they are and the relationship they are in will not be swayed by any devil or temptation.
They are too busy loving the life they live to be looking for some fake satisfaction. They are too busy living to love with the person who loves them. And the bottom line, until you love yourself and are confident in who you are, you will never be able to be in a successful, healthy relationship. And truthfully, you have no business dating because the person you are courting is the one that will be hurt the most.